bloom at the water’s edge

While I draw inspiration from my life experiences, these poems are not meant to be read as a narration of facts, nor are they meant to be read as being about any one specific person, living or dead. Sometimes there is a dedication to a group or an individual who has inspired me to write a given poem. Many times I combine elements of fiction and fantasy with reality. I find meaning in creating beauty from the chaos of life, of adding order to what can sometimes feel random or arbitrary.

bloom at the water’s edge

Lake Ersek June 21, 2021

my life might be chaos

but your eyes are a safe place to rest

and our voices together are medicine,

like honey

Like

jumping into a cold lake at sunrise,

With loons wailing,

I feel alive again.

I sing softly back to the loons

as I sit at the water’s edge, asking

“How did I get here?”

The galaxy is more compassionate

than sleepless nights

and the melodies I sing

only exist

because you were there to hear them.

As flower petals unfold

around me,

I forgot

that

I ever

felt

alone.

When my skin

absorbs the cool rain in monsoon season,

I’ll think about how you all wove a musical quilt

that I wrapped around myself to stay warm.

I sometimes think about how

we don’t end

at the edges

of our bodies. When

every day feels like a protest,

I can feel these songs with me;

no matter how

far

I

roam.

Or maybe

it’s because sound

carries differently

across a lake.

You can

whisper

and

be

heard.

The cello

sings to me in a past life.

I feel it, like my own heart beating.

I have been ripped open,

and I don’t

care.

There

are many landscapes

I traverse without a compass.

I don’t know how I got here--

Able to sing

when

it was so hard

to speak.

I am like

a cactus flower

That decided to bloom

At the water’s edge.

And the desert sky said,

There’s no water here.

And the flower said,

I have everything

I need

To

Bloom.

This poem is dedicated to my

Queer Summer Camp fam, aka

LifeSongs Summer 2021 cohort:

Sampson, Geo, Matt S, Matt B,

Toast, Johnny, Lysander, Kallie

and Luka. I couldn’t have done

this project without each one of

you. You supported me, supported

each other and most of all, you

validated that queer stories are

worth sharing. P.S. This poem is

also an ode to each of our songs.